In which Sourpuss regenerates…

January 13th, 2010

 ”I don’t want to go…”

Sourpuss has morphed into The Doctor, strange but true.  Ever since the fateful day of THE SCAN where my last baby turned into Miney AND Mo I’ve been asked if I intended returning to work.  I’d assumed at first I would, we have an excellent childminder, the hours are good the work is stimulating and my colleagues probably some of the best people to work with.

However, I know I don’t want to work for the organisation for ever.  I firmly believe that there is a different path I’m being called to.  And if the right people say yes at the right time I would be looking at a new career before the twins are at school. 

So just before Christmas I decided I would not be returning, that I would enjoy my time at home, bake cakes, knit socks, pick play dough out of the carpet and generally drink lots of coffee with my mates!  I was happy with this decision until this morning when the time came to write the letter resigning my post.

Of the two wage earners in Sourpuss Towers, one loves their job, the other finds it so stressful that they are currently signed off work, so why is the happy one quitting? Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

So like the Doctor I find myself wailing “I don’t want to go…”

Is it too late to change my mind?

Will I regret it either way?

How foolish do I look right now?

Pee

Po

Belly

Bum

Drawers!

In which Sourpuss feels some sympathy

January 5th, 2010

To be honest I’ve always felt some sympathy fo the climate change sceptic, I would love to believe that my actions have no effect on the climate.  That my life style has no impact on my fellow human beings either now or in the future, however this is not the case.

I am convinced that climate change is real, and that it is partly caused by our burning of fossil fuels (as an aside even if it’s not, burning a finite resource which has many other uses seems a bit foolhardy).

I am also, when in an unusually (for me) gloomy place, equally convinced that there is nothing we can do about it… at present the changes in our western lifestyle are too costly to contemplate, the science poorly understood and poorly reported, (don’t get me started on the current weather proving that there is no climate change!) and the political will not present.

The people currently affected by the unpredictable weather are too far away, either physically or in time, and by the time we are really in trouble it will be too late. 

But I will not loose hope, I will continue to do what little I can, turning down the heating, driving less, recycling more because how can I look at Eeney, Meany, Miney and Mo and not do what I can to preserve this beautiful planet for their children and grand-children?

Hail thou long neglected Blog…

December 21st, 2009

Dear Reader,

I feel obliged to apologise for the neglect you have suffered over the last few weeks… Know that you were always in my thoughts, unfortunately those thoughts were usually half-baked and really not worth the time reading, or indeed writing!

So now as we slowly move to a new year full of promise, perhaps a few moments evaluating what has passed may be in order…

We have much to be thankful for…

4 Healthy, happy children (who are all quietly occupied elsewhere!)

A fight with cancer which, for the moment, my Step-dad is winning

Snow during the school holidays!

Two family engagements (of particular joy to Eeny who expects bridesmaid’s dresses!)

There were moments of Sadness too;

We said goodbye to our dear old cat Firkin who like Mog ended up dead tired, but we still sometimes see her memory around the place, especially on the winter jumpers and blankets which have come out over the last couple of weeks!

So what do we have to look forward too?

Crawling, walking and more teething…

Sats, violin practice, a hectic pre-teen social life!

more essays and not returning to paid work

And hopefully a more readable, regular blog…

Seasons blessings

SP

In which Sourpuss muses on customer services…

December 2nd, 2009

Mr Sourpuss’s Ivory Tower is in reality more of an Ivory dormer bungalow, and as such is no longer a safe place away from the vagaries of the modern world.  The latest incursion into academic endeavour is the imposition of customer service training for all academic staff.

The introduction of tuition fees has final reduced the student to customer and academia to a service industry…

But Mr Sourpuss and his colleagues are not selling degrees, nor are they selling the perfect student experience, what they are actually supplying to the student is access to their valuable time, and the opportunity to work towards an internationally recognised academic qualification…

So whilst Mr Sourpuss practices his best smile, I think I can hear muttered under his breath “do you want fries with that?”

Welcome to the dark ages, please drive carefully.

November 3rd, 2009

Sourpuss is a little disturbed by the ruling that a man can apply for unfair dismissal on the grounds of his ‘belief’ in climate change using the same legislation one would use is dismissed on the grounds of ones religious beliefs.  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/8339652.stm

 

So why does this disturb me?

Simply I don’t need to believe in man-made climate change, any more than I believe in gravity, electrons, or evolution.  Climate change is happening and affecting people now, just ask the farmers in eastern Africa and Bangladesh.  Climate change doesn’t require any leap of faith it is the best explanation of the observable facts.

My faith on the other hand cannot be proved or disproved by science. No measurements can be made to prove the existence of a Deity, no experiments can be carried out to show that Christ is God incarnate or that he rose bodily from the dead, but despite this, or even because of this I believe, I am a person of faith.

All of this doesn’t stop me feeling that a company allegedly sacking their sustainability officer because the truth of climate change is unpalatable is deeply wrong.  But to reduce scientific fact to an article of faith is a step back to the dark ages!

Remembering…

November 3rd, 2009

When I was growing up there were very few constants… we moved house a lot, my parents marriage was not one of settled bliss, I always felt a bit of an outsider.

There was however a fixed point, my Grandparents house in Batley.  It was a place of treats, Grandma’s handbag always had a bag of pick and mix in it, with some of our favourite sweets!  Poppy’s cafe in the precinct was an exotic delight, the local museum had a real mummies foot in it and a park with a huge duck pond at the bottom of the hill.  Pulled fingers produced the most amazing ‘fluffs’.  The tomato plants in the greenhouse were the tastiest, reddest, juciest…

And at the center of it all was Grandma and Grandad, Grandad would get told off but with such a twinkle in Grandma’s eye you knew they loved each other!  Grandad had black nails from his engineering job, when I was very little Grandma worked in the toy department of Schofields.

As grandparents went they were perfect…

they took us on day trips to Bridlington, we went for picnics, Grandma taught me how to knit, the only thing they did wrong was refusing to be immortal, so they also taught me that you can survive the death of someone you love dearly.

Grandma passed away when I was 24, allegedly declaring she’d die of shame if grandad didn’t do a quick hoover before the ambulance men came… but I see her whenever I see my Mum, and remember her whenever I try to do the right thing, and whenever we moan about my sister being too soft for her own good!

When Alun asked me to marry him, the choice of person to walk me down the aisle was easy, how could I ask anyone else… I asked my hero, then man who showed me how good marriage could be, how marriage is about love, respect, family, farting to order, laughter and joy.  Grandad approved of Alun because he was an engineer (a proper mans job) we never mentioned that it was computers he engineered, that may have been a bit sissy! 

He died in February 2001, after a long decline into dementia, a cruel end to a fine man.  His carer’s would never know the joy he shared in life, his addiction to newspaper bingo (he used to get extra cards from the newsagent), his ability to fall down the stairs in a comedy manner evry new years eve.  Or why at his funeral the sound of Tommy Steele singing “Little White Bull” reduced the family to shuddering tears. 

His funeral was a week before we found out we were expecting our much longed for first baby (aka Eeney) she has the same startling blue eyes and so I see him every day! 

The values our families give us are a great gift and a blessing, so I can remember with a tear and a smile the great people who shape us, love us and make us who we are, so though they may pass away they never leave us as they are embodied in our lives, loves and values.

Bliss

October 12th, 2009

Yesterday I was floored by a line in a hymn… it crept up on me whilst my back was turned and my attention diverted.

“…and give us, we pray, your bliss in our hearts, Lord, at the break of the day.”

Sadly bliss and the C of E are not readily associated, play a word association game and I guarantee that after church nobody would offer bliss. 

Bliss, chocolate

Bliss, happiness

Bliss, sleep

Bliss, 10am eucharist ermmmm (followed by the noise from Family Fortunes!)

But look up bliss in the dictionary http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bliss

and you get a definition of perfect happiness… what a way to start the day!

In which Sourpuss looses something dear to her…

October 9th, 2009

My life is full of mini-revelations, many of them occasioned by my journey with the church, most of them profoundly non-spiritual!

Last year I realised I still needed to be a feminist, that the equality achieved by my Grandmother’s and Mother’s generation had not permeated fully into the church… that inequality is alive and well and living in the church. Inequality bolstered up by oppressive language.  Inequality which often sits quietly tutting in the pews at her sisters temerity at wanting to live out her calling in the church she loves.

But that wasn’t today’s revelation…

I feel I’m in danger of loosing something most valuable, today I was called ‘Mummy Moon’ whilst I admit to being called Moon (Mr Sourpusses Surname) and cannot deny my Motherhood, infact I celebrate it here ofetn enough… I am so much more than Mummy Moon I am a wife, a lover, a sister, a daughter, a student, a volunteering manager, a preacher, a teacher, a knitter, a scrabble player, a facebook addict and so much more!  I don’t want to loose my identity to being defined solely by my Motherhood.

The words used about us define us, whether it is exclusive language in liturgy, abusive language being used as a ‘joke’ in the workplace, demeaning language used in the media.  Words are power and should be used with great care…

“Baddies don’t have Mummies”

October 4th, 2009

My darling boy, Meeney, for the sake of this blog, almost aways behaves in an age-apropriate behaviour.  Unfortunately this behaviour can have the ability to send Sourpuss a little closer to the edge.

We have been having a long running discussion for the past few years about ‘gun games’ of the type “bang bang you’re dead”.  I for one feel a little uncomfortable with casual violence of this type and have tried many ways to reason with the mini-SP’s about this. 

Meeney reckons that it’s ok to kill badies, ‘cos they are baddies Mummy! (SP at this point is obviously exhibiting the mental ability of a gnat)  “But Darling”, I reason, “you shouldn’t kill people, their Mummies will miss them” (a winning line worthy of Rumpole ~ surely).  A withering look, normally reserved for very silly people… “Baddies don’t have Mummies”

The following hour was spent in the “yes they do” “no they don’t” kind of constructive debate usually only heard in the houses of parliament.  Ending with Meeney bursting into tears.

“But Baddies can’t have Mummies otherwise they’d know HOW to be good”

When Sourpuss cannot be bothered…

October 2nd, 2009

So why is it, dear reader, that when there is stuff to do Sourpuss cannot get her finger out and get on and do it?

One 3000 word essay, one presentation with follow-up and the bl***y forms all need doing.  So yet again I’m here!  I have deadlines, I have a really good reasons to get things moving.  The forms are the next step in my vocational journey, a journey I want to be on… so why the reluctance?

I hate being judged… having my motives called into question, and I think at some level I’m trying to avoid being judged and avoid the possibility of rejection.

I think I’ll put the kettle on…